Mr Cullen
by MsSailorman
Summary: Bella is obsessively in love with her teacher, Mr. Cullen. Enough said. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is very different from my other ones. I wanted to vary it up a bit, so enjoy the fruits of my labor. I'm kind of in love with this story. Just a BIT.**

**I own nothing, most unfortunately.**

Mr. Cullen had sex with his fiancé last night.

At least, that's what I've come to believe as I study him in ninth period science. I have a certain infatuation with Mr. Edward Cullen that I'm almost completely sure he is aware of. Even a man with the most obtuse of senses would have realized that I had interest in him above that of the student/teacher relationship when I wanted to show it. And believe me, I had shown him many times. I'd made my point clear, yet innocent-looking as I came to school dressed in lower and tighter clothes. The boys around me had been stunned and astonished by my rapid rise from invisible to queen slut. Not that I'd ever dated anyone, though I'd been asked. I had one interest and he resided in room 1201 of Forks High School.

I sigh as I bite into the eraser on my pencil. The Brit lit quiz I'm taking is so boring. I know all the answers of course, but that doesn't make ninth period roll around any faster. Ms. Stanley breathes down my neck as I finish the quiz within half the time assigned to us. She eyes me suspiciously. She's never trusted me because of the fact that I'm uncommon. I know I sound really haughty and arrogant, but I'm sexy and smart all wrapped into one.

But I didn't used to be that way. At the beginning of the year, before I knew about Mr. Cullen, I was invisible to any and all things male. Even the lesbian clique didn't give me a second look. A hoodie was the most important part of my wardrobe. I wore a really old pair of jeans that had holes everywhere because of all the rips I'd received working in my Dad's auto-shop. You'd be surprised how easy it is to snag your jeans on stuff when there are large pieces of metal everywhere. My hands were constantly stained with grease from working with cars and my hair was also sweaty. I was the mechanically gifted brainiac who apparently had a knack for being a wallflower.

Then Mr. Cullen scooped me out of the world I was living in and set me down to roam among the normal people.

I became obsessive. My hair changed. I got a layered cut and some serious conditioner. My clothes changed. As I mentioned, they became tighter and lower cut. (Higher cut too if you think about the skirts) My hands changed. I no longer slaved away in the auto shop and decided to get a manicure. _I _changed. Every part of who I was now latched onto Mr. Cullen. He's _the _guy. _The _one. And he has absolutely no idea of that beyond the minor infatuation he thinks I have.

I'm hauled back from my trip to memory lane by a sex-crazed boy named something Black. I never really had taken the time to find out his first name.

He mimes making a phone call and passes me a note with his number on it. A shy smile is on his face.

It really is part of my master plan to make every guy in this school horny for me until Mr. Cullen simply can't ignore it. Perhaps if he saw me as some sort of sex goddess to be salivated for, he'd realize I was his soul mate.

Having that plan in mind, I give what's-his-face Black a flirty smile and pocket the note. He punches the air underneath his desk when he thinks I'm not looking and gives me a genuine smile back.

I turn away from him, rolling my eyes so he can't see. I wouldn't call him. I wouldn't call anyone other than Mr. Cullen. Besides, to about seventy-two percent of the boys here, I wasn't a person. I was a quite literally, a walking sex organ.

The bell rings and I swing my bag over my back. I hurry with unwarranted enthusiasm as I practically skip into room 1201. And there he is. A breath of fresh air. A sight for sore eyes. A meal for the hungry. A home for the homeless. You get the picture.

I sit down in my seat, expertly flashing Mr. Cullen a peek of my black, lacy thong. I know he sees it because he stiffens and keeps his gaze on my thighs for a few moments. I find that little loss of concentration on his part so gratifying I'm practically on cloud nine, whatever that expression means.

Mr. Cullen addresses the room, saying something about passing out the test we took a few days ago. I don't hear his exact words, just revel in the gravelly softness of his voice. So perfect. And then I'm off. I simply drift for the few minutes it takes to pass out papers.

I remember back to when Mr. Cullen had announced his engagement. That had been a stake through my heart. He had stolen my heart with his charm, his wit, his looks, his humor, his everything and then he plunged a knife right through it. Metaphorically, of course. That day I had camped out in my bathroom because just thinking about it made me physically sick. Not to mention I couldn't be seen by my parents. Then I'd have to explain why my soul had been shredded.

Someone is calling my name, I realize. A man is calling my name. No, _he _is calling my name. "Bella," He calls.

I jerk in my seat and stare up at Mr. Cullen. "Yes?" I ask.

"Please stay awake during my class," He says, looking directly into my eyes with those mossy, green ones.

"So I'm allowed to go to sleep during all my other ones?" I ask before I can help myself. Damn my big mouth.

He laughs and nods. "Yeah, because after all . . . science is obviously the most important thing."

"Says you," I say wisely. True, unrequited love is the most important thing.

He turns away from me and says, "And on the note of me saying stuff, we're going to have a lecture today on . . . ,"

For a straight A student, I barely pay in attention in this class. I usually spend my time studiously cataloguing every detail of Mr. Cullen I can find. Which leads me to the conclusion that Mr. Cullen slept with his fiancé last night. It might be stretching the truth a little bit, but I am quite unable to help that.

My evidence is in his clothes and in his mood. His slacks are the same ones as yesterday, giving the notion that he dressed in a hurry this morning, not paying attention to what clothes he was pulling on. There's also the fact that he didn't shave this morning as even further proof. Guess what he was probably busy doing? Not to mention his mood. Normally, he put people on the spot and gave them a little talk after class when they fell asleep or weren't attentive. I hadn't been asked to attend after class and he hadn't asked me a question. But no. He's in a good mood today. I can tell by the way he smiles and his dimples become apparent. He smiles a lot today. That's the smile of a sated man.

Class whizzes by in an instant, waking me from my rationalizations of what he could have been doing last night. The bell rings and everyone immediately leaves 1201 in a hurry to get home. I get up as well, but I'm stopped.

"Bella, please stay after class," Mr. Cullen calls. There's an _ooh _that comes from the students who are wondering what he'll do to me.

I personally am not worried because I happen to have a spotless record and this is my first offense. He probably wouldn't do anything too bad. I continue packing up, but sit back in my seat resignedly. It's more difficult than I would have thought to hide that I'm almost glad that I was daydreaming. Now I got to spend a few precious more minutes with him.

Once everyone is out and Mr. Cullen closes the door behind them to keep people from eavesdropping, I immediately launch into my apology.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm really sorry about that. I was just –,"

He waves his hand and cuts me off. "Bella, I'm not going to punish you," He assures me. "You've just spent six hours grilling your brain. I don't blame you for being tired. I had to say something in class because I'd give detention to almost anybody else. This is the first time you've done that, so I'll let it slide. Ok?"

I nod mutely. _To almost anybody else, _I think. I'm special. He _has_ noticed me. Then again, it's hard not to notice a person who raises their hand for every question you ask. I turn for the door, my heart flying about three feet above me.

"Oh, Bella,"

I whirl around. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry to have to say this, but would you please refrain from wearing mini-skirts to school anymore. They . . . um, cause indecent exposure."

I want to laugh and cry at the same time. The fact that he's acknowledging that he had seen was funny. But he didn't _want _to see.

Not able to help myself, I say something I'll probably regret. "What if that was the idea?" I ask, batting my lashes a little.

He coughs in surprise, "Bella, you shouldn't trying to display yourself like that to everyone."

Still on my daring streak, I pat his slightly muscled shoulder and say, "It's not for _every_one, just one person." I decide that's as far as I'll go and it was certainly far enough.

I grab my book bag and speed out of the room, calling over my shoulder, "Thanks for not giving me detention."

Yup, the regret was focusing itself and poking at me menacingly. But it didn't have the strength to overcome the hope I felt. I'd made eye contact with him just before I left and I thought I saw . . . _want. _Whether it was want to get me the hell out of his classroom or to make love to me just as I wanted to do to him, it was definitely want. And in my current state of mind, I was deciding on the make love option.

I'm once again sitting in 1201, staring down at my test. I've already finished it. I recline in my seat, still wearing a skirt, though it goes below my mid-thigh. I wouldn't disobey a direct order even though I hadn't followed instructions as well as Mr. Cullen had probably wanted. It's still sufficiently short enough to allow Mr. Cullen a _view. _Which, of course, is the only reason I wear this kind of clothing.

Even now, as I recline, I spread my legs just wide enough to tantalize him. But he seems to be making a pointed effort not to look at me at all today. That frightens me a little. Maybe I had read him wrong and now he wants nothing to do with me. The only thing that keeps the morale high is when he does glance over at me quickly, first my eyes and then the thighs. I make an effort to look at him levelly every time he looks.

Class is over soon with no homework because of the test we took. It was _supposed _to take all class period but I had an extra twenty minutes left. I cracked open my science book – something I rarely had to resort to – and started thumbing through it, looking for something that maybe I didn't know. The problem was that my Mom had been teaching me most of this stuff in sixth grade. Even in an advanced course, I'm breezing through it. I thank my lucky stars that my Mom had done that. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't made it into this advanced class, if I hadn't met Mr. Cullen.

And suddenly he's peering over my shoulder. "Are you cheating, Bella?" He whispers.

I shake my head emphatically. "I'm already done and I was reading my science book because I was bored," I explain, realizing what it looks like. Even I wouldn't believe me. Textbooks don't cure boredom; they cause it.

Mr. Cullen takes my test and walks back to his desk. I see that he's comparing it to his copy, the one with the correct answers. His eyes speed between the two tests and he takes a pen to my paper once he's done. _He's grading it, _I realize.

He hands it back to me gracefully.

Looking down, I see a large, red F. I look up at him with a scandalized expression. I _know _I got every single answer correct. He thinks I'm a cheater. Just marvelous.

"I'd like to speak to you after class, Bella," He says, his light brown hair glinting in the light.

I nod, still disbelieving. This is the first F I've gotten on a test since my teacher in kindergarten thought I'd cheated because I was doing long division. I lean back in my chair irritably. I may be in love with him, but no man is going to call me a cheater when it's my own damn work.

Waiting the rest of the class period out, I continually stare at the F on my paper. I glare at my science book, knowing that if I hadn't chosen to read it, he wouldn't think I'm cheating in his class.

"Bella," Mr. Cullen says from his desk.

I stand up and walk towards him, hating myself just a little bit for the fact that the sway in my hips is for him. "I didn't cheat," I say squarely.

"You had your science book out and your test in front of you. All of the answers were correct," He sighs.

"They were correct because I knew the material," I argue. "Ask me anything," I challenge boldly. "Ask me about anything that we've covered and even things that we haven't. I'll know the answer."

He sighs again and picks up his copy of the test. Then we're off. He asks me about twenty questions before relenting. I don't falter or hesitate at all.

I know that I've astounded him. I've answered questions that would be on a college sophomore's test. But I've also proved my point. "I don't cheat," I repeat, just for emphasis.

He nods his head, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I'm sorry I thought otherwise," He apologizes.

"It's fine. It's happened before," I shrug, twisting my naturally straight hair around my finger. That's the one thing I don't change. Even through my brainiac to slut transition, I had straight hair. It's my trademark. Well, that and my outrageously tight clothes.

His eyebrows pull together like they do when he senses an injustice or is thinking really hard about something. "I guess that doesn't surprise me. You're incredibly advanced."

I blush at the compliment. "Thank you," I say softly.

We don't speak for a moment and I just sway on the spot awkwardly. "You're still wearing a skirt today," Mr. Cullen's voice isn't stern of disapproving, just curious.

"It isn't a mini-skirt though. You clearly said a mini-skirt which makes any other type of skirt legal."

"It's still a bit exposing," He says uncertainly.

I smile. "Why, you weren't looking, were you?" I joke, knowing this would make him feel guilty because he _has _been thinking about me in a sexual way. I just need him to realize that he wants to act on those thoughts.

He blushes beet red at that.

I've never seen him go so red. "Relax; its fine."

Mr. Cullen's eyes widen a little bit and he shakes his head. "It's not fine, though. I'm your teacher," He says almost pleadingly.

We're so close I can smell his clean, musky scent. I know that a lot of guys smell musky, but I've never smelled anything equal to Mr. Cullen. He smells sweet.

Then I just do it. _What the hell? _I think errantly as I swoop down to where he's sitting. I've never kissed a single boy before so I'm sure that the kiss I share with Mr. Cullen is rather sloppy. But I don't care. I'm in heaven. This man's mouth is touching mine and he has yet to jerk away.

Before I really know what happens, Mr. Cullen has pulled me into his lap so he has a better vantage point. I barely have time to comprehend that the bump underneath me isn't his cell phone or his wallet, but in fact his erection when I'm suddenly shoved away. I land really hard on my butt with my skirt up around my hips. I don't move to hike it down. I stare up at Mr. Cullen wildly.

His face is contorted with so many things it's hard for me to follow. There's surprise first – probably from the fact that he had pushed me to the ground – then there's lust, then guilt, then confusion.

I get to my knees and retrieve my standing position from there. What the hell just happened?

Mr. Cullen seems to realize that I'm still standing there and he turns to me. "I'm so sorry," He whispers.

I barely even hear it. My lips are tingling and my thong could no longer be considered dry. I shake my head at him. "Don't be."

"I'm your teacher. I'm _engaged," _He says, putting lots of emphasis on the last word.

"And are you madly, passionately, wildly in love with her?" I snap.

"Yes," He murmurs, but I notice the slight pause.

"Well, you're doing a terrible job," I say, placing my hand on the tented zipper of his pants, feeling his erection as proof.

He moans softly and jerks back.

"I take back the kiss then. If I had known you cheated even when you're madly, passionately, wildly in love with someone, I wouldn't have wasted my first kiss on such a sick bastard," I hiss venomously. I can't help it. The effort I went through just to get to him! All of it was wasted. Maybe I _will _have to give what's-his-name Black a call.

Mr. Cullen makes an angry growling sound in the back of his throat. He stands up suddenly and grabs hold of my long, straight hair. He forcefully presses his full mouth to mine and devours my lips.

I moan in both pain and pleasure. His hand is pulling my hair almost painfully, but his mouth is gentle and meaningful. I'm almost dizzy by the time he lets me go. I'm gasping for breath and the world is spinning around me. "What was _that _for?" I say breathlessly.

He doesn't answer and sits back down in his chair. "Will you please go?" He whispers shakily.

I'm immediately furious. "Oh, of course," I drawl sarcastically, picking up my bag. "Now that you've had your fun, I'll get sent on my way like I'm just some sort of prostitute." I turn for the door in a raging temper.

"You certainly dress like one," He responds angrily.

I whip around and march straight back to him. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. The only reason girls dress like this is because they want attention. I had the same reasons. I wanted attention. I wanted _your _attention. Don't think I'm so blind that I haven't seen you look up my skirt every time I sit down. I know you have and that's what I wanted. So don't you dare say that again when you know you didn't mind one fucking little bit." I stomp out of the room and almost run to my locker. I have to get my stuff before he comes out of his classroom.

I twirl the combination as quickly as I can and grab my books. The hallway is deserted and all the teachers except Mr. Cullen are at a meeting. Oh shit, we're as good as alone in this place. Yesterday that would have excited me beyond belief, but now I can't stop focusing on the rejection. His love isn't even bound somewhere else and he shoved me away.

_Well that could've gone better, _I think sarcastically as I flee the school. Mr. Cullen didn't come out of his classroom so my escape wasn't really necessary, though. I'm almost to my car when the tears come. I expect them, but the lack of surprise doesn't help their company.

Room 1201 is the most uncomfortable, unwelcoming room I've ever been in. Today is Thursday, a week after I kissed him and he rejected me.

The atmosphere is tense between Mr. Cullen and me. We barely even look at each except to glare. Or, at least I was glaring. I refuse to get over him rejecting me. My plan is to completely avoid him forever. My hopes and dreams have already crashed and burned.

I gnaw on the end of my pencil the second I finish the worksheet he gave as in class work. Little holes and deep pencil marks are everywhere on the paper because of how harshly I pushed on the lead tip. I sign my name as an afterthought and immediately notice that my signature is different. It's more angled and sharp. I know it's from the frustration I feel. I sigh. It's like my identity has been defined by Mr. Cullen and that one interaction has changed me.

Class, while it used to breeze by, now seems to drag. And again, it's because of Mr. Cullen. When it _does _end though, I can't even escape because I make the mistake of giving a parting glare to Mr. Cullen. He mouths the word, _Stay._

I groan out loud at this. Even though I'm still mad as hell, embarrassed, and reluctant I'm not able to ignore him for some reason. _Because you're in love with him, idiot, _my inner-voice snips.

I sigh to myself and remain in my seat, waiting for whatever Mr. Cullen's going to say to me. It can't be anything good, but I suppose after my actions yesterday I had it coming. It was probably going to be the "it-was-a-mistake-and-we-can't-let-this-go-on" talk. I sigh again.

Mr. Cullen wordlessly motioned for me to follow him into the supply room. It's almost like a kitchen area that has a refrigerator, a sink, counters, and lots of cabinets. It's where we keep all the supplies we need for any demonstrations we'll be doing. The only entrance/exit is the door we just came through.

Mr. Cullen flicks on the lights and closes the door after us. I try not to look too much into the fact that he locks it. Suddenly, he turns to face me, his face blank. He doesn't speak and that just about puts me over the edge. I'm in a supply room with a sexy man who happens to be my engaged teacher. Surely there's something wrong with this scenario.

"What is it?" I ask irritably.

"I've been thinking," He says slowly.

"Well isn't that a miracle?" I hiss.

Mr. Cullen's face frowns at me. "You know, for someone who has undergone so much change just to get my attention, you sure have a way of trying to push me away," He says quietly, taking a step towards me.

I can smell him from where I stand. The sweet scent wraps thickly around my head. "Maybe it's because I realized what an ass you are."

He looks stunned for a moment, his eyebrows arched. He still isn't used to being talked to like that, especially from me. "And how do you figure that?" He inquires.

"I kissed you. You could have pushed me away immediately and stayed faithful to the 'love of your life' or whatever, but you kissed me right back. Then of course, you had to push me away after I was just beginning to think maybe I had a fighting chance. So you've hurt both of us even if she doesn't realize it yet. She will soon enough though," I promise, completely sure of myself. I've catalogued him in class out of habit and I've noticed things.

"Is that a threat?"

"No, a fact. I'm guessing she's already noticed that you haven't slept with her in more than a week." I say calmly, knowing I'm right. "She's going to realize something's up soon."

Mr. Cullen has his mouth opened like he's going to object, but nothing comes out. "How'd you know?" He asks, his voice shaking a little.

"You haven't slept with her for nine days exactly." I wait for his nod and he does. "The last time you had sex with her was . . . ," I strain to think of the exact day. "Tuesday of last week. I knew then because you didn't shave, your clothes were the same, and you were happy," I recall.

Mr. Cullen is just staring at this point, waiting for more warily.

"I've perfected it. I've noticed trends. I'm guessing that you guys have been at it like bunny rabbits since you proposed to her. She wouldn't have sex with you before, so maybe she did oral sex or something, but I'm pretty sure not the full blown penetration stuff. Once you _did _propose, she had sex with you then because you're getting married and she's pretty much done with the waiting stuff. She's really a prude," I finish, surprised at how calmly I was saying this. I'd said the word 'sex' like five times.

Mr. Cullen continues to gape at me. "How on Earth do you know all that?"

"So I'm pretty close then, right?"

"Almost to a tee," His voice is astounded.

"Just a few main things and it's pretty easy to tell if you did it with her or not. There's your clothes – whether they're rumpled or not or if they're the same as yesterday. There's also if you shaved or if you have cuts from shaving because that means that you either didn't have time or were in a hurry. There's your mood. If you're grouchy, it usually relates back to sex somehow. If you're happy, it probably means your fiancé was having a joy ride last night."

"Christ," He murmurs. "You're a super-sleuth."

I shrug. "That's not the point though. The point is that you're a cheating ass who doesn't even have the decency to cheat for extended periods of time and I wasted all this effort on studying you and getting to know who you are."

He groans and shakes his head. "You're incredible," He whispers.

I open my mouth to speak, but I don't. What does this mean? "I have no idea where this is going," I whisper, taking a step away from him. I refuse to throw my heart at his feet when this might just lead to heartbreak.

"Neither do I," He returns, taking a step closer to me.

"I'm not going to do this anymore unless I know you're going to break up with her. I don't want to break my heart again." I feel dumb almost immediately for giving him an ultimatum just before he's about to kiss me, but I can't help myself. I need to know.

He groans and pauses in his movement towards me.

Desperate to think of any sort of incentive for him to stay with me, I offer, "You may love her, Edward, but you love me more."

Then his lips are on my mine. He kisses me fiercely. From my scalp to the pedicured toenails on my feet are tingling. Everything that isn't Edward Cullen doesn't exist. His fiancé, my parents, his soon-to-be wedding, and this supply room. Hell, even I don't exist. It's just Mr. Cullen.

I grab him around the neck and hoist myself up by jumping and twirling my legs around his waist. His cock is trapped between my open legs, meshing against some very sensitive parts indeed. I moan softly into his mouth.

Mr. Cullen shifts me up and down slowly, increasing the sensation that was already dominant.

I break away from his lips and bounce up and down more quickly. I suddenly know what I want, what I _need _in that moment. "_Please _tell me you have a condom," I moan against his shoulder.

He sets me down very carefully and looks me straight in the eyes. "Not now," He says softly.

That makes me want to cry with the incredible, burning need I have that's going to go unsatisfied. "Oh god, don't say that," I plead.

"We're in a supply closet, Bella."

"So?" I whine. "I want you right now."

Mr. Cullen continues to explain patiently, "Bella, I'm not going to have sex with you in a science supply closet on school property."

"Then where?" I ask, rolling my eyes.

"I'm not going to do anything else with you until you graduate," He states plainly.

My face scrunches up in disbelief and outrage for a moment, but then it's quickly calculating. I have to think about this. My approach is usually strategically planned and this shouldn't be any different.

"No bargaining, either," Mr. Cullen adds on.

I let my face fall into an expression of anger. Let him think he has me on this one, but oh how wrong he is. "Please?"

He shakes his head.

I stalk out of the room, calling over my shoulder, "You're going to change your mind, Edward. I promise." I make my voice sound as angry and menacing as possible although I really can't care less what he says now. The plan is already formed in my head. I'd persuade him with jealousy.

The second I get home, I spend half an hour searching for what's-his-name Black's number. I'm pretty sure I discarded the scrap of paper onto my desk somewhere to be left alone for all eternity. I search there for what seems like forever until I finally find the tiny, balled-up piece of paper.

I dial his number without pause and just hope he's home.

"Hello?" It's definitely a guy's voice, but I can't be sure it's actually what's-his-name over the phone.

"Hi, it's Bella Swan," I say politely.

His voice is shocked and excited. "Oh, hey, Bella! It's Jake!"

Jake! That's his name! Jacob Black! Oh, what a relief! "Well, I was just wondering if you have any plans after school tomorrow. I was hoping maybe we could go on a date." I attempt to make my voice as sweet and sultry as possible. It's not too difficult since the arousal is still burning in my veins despite the fact that I haven't seen Mr. Cullen for almost forty-five minutes.

"No, I don't have any plans. Where do you want to go?" He sounds so elated.

"Um . . . the movies?" I say uncertainly.

"Sure, how about around seven?"

"Great, seven it is," I reply. "We can decide on the movie later."

"See you at school then, Bella."

"Bye," I hang up the phone with a pat on the back. School tomorrow is going to be fun. _Well, at least for me it will be, _I amend.

Its eighth period again, the first time I come into contact with my date. I'm surprised he didn't hunt me down before school started because he seemed so eager, but maybe he was trying to appear cool.

I wave at Jake with a dazzling smile as I enter the lair of Ms. Stanley. Almost like a happy puppy, his tongue lolls out of his mouth for a moment. I smile wider. At least some guys respond to me like they're supposed to.

The second class is over, I saunter over to Jake and ask, "Want to walk me to science?" I add my sex kitten expression and he nods enthusiastically. This is all part of my plan of course.

As we walk out the door, I latch onto his hand gently and smile.

"You know, I was pretty surprised when you called me. I figured you were just going to ignore me forever," His voice is smug and delighted.

I try to keep the guilty expression off my face seeing as that's _exactly _what I had been planning to do. "I know that it took you a lot of courage to do that and . . . well, I guess it took me a lot of courage to actually call you," I manage a fairly believable shy smile as we continue to walk to my locker. Jake is actually pretty nice. I feel more than a little guilty that I'm taking advantage of him, but not guilty enough to stop.

I quickly dial in my combination, feeling Mr. Cullen's eyes on the hand that still is holding onto Jake. I get my stuff out of my locker and twirl around, flashing Mr. Cullen a chummy smile. Then I 'accidentally' drop my books. It actually does look realistic.

Jake, being the gentlemanly, people-pleaser he is, retrieves my books for me and holds them out for me to take. I don't reach out for them though. I smile again – geez, I smile a lot around this kid – and say, "Aw, you're so nice."

I lean forward and kiss him passionately on the lips, drawing a few catcalls from our classmates. It's easier than I would have imagined. He's no Mr. Cullen, but he's genuine. Taking advantage of the fact that his hands are full, I position my hands around his neck and press my cleavage against his chest. I think it really would have been a good kiss if I actually had feelings for Jake.

Breaking away and leaving him breathless, I get my books from his grasp. Jake's cheeks are pink and his face is so shocked it's hysterical. "See you at the movie tonight," I say, turning for 1201. I don't look back to see if he's moved or not yet. I'm pretty sure he hasn't.

I don't acknowledge Mr. Cullen at all as I skip merrily into the room. His position is so stiff he'd pass for a brick wall. With the briefest of glances, I see that his face is a cross between being shocked and anger. There's jealousy as well, but mostly anger. I also note with satisfaction that he's clean-shaven, no stubble at all. That only means one thing in my book. I almost pirouette to my seat.

Class goes by with me not making eye contact with Mr. Cullen at all. I don't look at him or acknowledge his presence. It's all part of the plan.

I spend my time gloating. He'll have to give in to me. He's just spent ten days without sex and I'm the one that he desires. My Mom, in one of her extremely rare talks with me about boys, said, "Isabella, men want what they can't have. If you've got a crush on a guy you can do a few things. First, you come and talk to me. Second, you just tell them how you feel. Or third, you can tease them a little. You can smile and let them see that you want them, and then turn your attention to someone else. That's why your Father and I started dating." Aside from being super-annoyed that she called me Isabella – a habit I've been trying to train my parents out of for years – I found this advice helpful, though this is the first time I've tried it out.

When the bell rings, I barely even hear it, lost as I am in my own little world. And before I know it, I'm the last one in the room and Mr. Cullen has blockaded my way.

"_What the hell was that?!" _He hisses angrily at me.

I don't even look up at him. "What are you talking about?" I ask innocently.

He pushes my head up so that I have to look at him. "I'm talking about your _make-out session._"

"Well, yesterday I decided that being in a relationship with you wouldn't be very _fulfilling," _I say that pointedly, referring to his refusal to make love to me. "So I decided to move on. In other words, I'm breaking up with you," I finish sweetly, standing up and gripping hold of my bag.

"Moving on, eh?" He asks menacingly. "So I suppose that idiot, Jacob Black, is my better."

"Well at least he'd be _more _than willing to give me the one thing I really want," I return. I spin on my heel for the door but Mr. Cullen hauls me back by the arm.

He grabs my upper arm and tugs me around. For a moment, I'm so afraid I can barely think. I think he's going to hurt me. I've enraged him too far. He's going to hit me. But instead, his clean-shaven face crushes down on mine with brutal force. It's an angry kiss. He's more forceful than before.

At first, I struggle against him because I'm still afraid, but when his hand grapples its way between my thighs, I give up. I don't _want _to fight him anymore. My body tenses as he finds _the _place. He keeps flicking his delicious fingers over my sensitive skin until I'm almost at an orgasm and he abruptly pulls his face and hand from my body.

I groan in the almost painful absence of his fingers. So _close. _

"I just saw someone at the door," He whispers urgently, staring towards the door.

I want to yell every curse word I know as I whirl around. It's so stupid. We are in clear view of the doorway. "Who?" I ask, panic creeping into my voice.

"I'll go look, I couldn't tell who," He says in a whisper. There's fear in his voice and I realize what's at stake for him here. His job, his reputation, his fiancé, his very life. I attempt to comprehend what this could mean for both of us as Mr. Cullen prowls towards the door. He rips it open and looks up and down the halls.

"Anybody?" I ask as he turns back to me.

He shakes his head. "No one looks morbidly horrified. There's a few people left out there, but no one that's acting suspicious." He pauses for a moment to lean against a desk. "God, I'm an idiot."

I vehemently protest, "Well, I'm the sex-crazed maniac who went out and got a boyfriend,"

"At least you didn't kiss your student right in plain sight of the doorway," He sighs.

"No more guilt, I have to find out who that was," I mutter, taking off abruptly. I scan the hallways again, the horrified look still plastered on my face. What's happening?

I invade the girls' bathroom in case the person who saw us is hiding in there, but it's empty. I'm about to rush into the boys' bathroom when Jake appears out of nowhere. I barely have to look at his face to know who saw Mr. Cullen and I clutched together.

"I'm calling the police," He states, his face contorted with anger.

I grab the cell phone from his hand. "No, no, no. You can't do that."

Confusion passes his face. "Why not?" He demands, his brown eyes flickering angrily.

"What do you mean 'why not'? They'll send me to juvie!" I'm practically begging at this point, trying to keep my voice a whisper because of the other people who were still milling around school.

"Oh," He seems to grasp something. "Bella, you won't get in trouble at all. It'll just be that sick rapist, Cullen."

I gape like a fish while several things click in place. He thinks Mr. Cullen was molesting me. I play back the whole scene from the view of the doorway, what that would have looked like. The person would have seen the fear on my face at first, my struggles to get away, my surrender, Mr. Cullen's hand traveling up my thigh, and finally they would have heard my moan of pain. Oh god, I wasn't at all in the situation I thought I was in.

"Bella," Jake says, drawing me to attention as I worked that out. "He won't hurt you anymore."

"You still can't tell anyone!" I impress upon him urgently.

"Why? That bastard deserves twenty years in jail at the least!"

"Shh!" I hush him desperately as a girl peers over at us. Yanking Jake's sleeve, I drag him out the side entrance. I don't bother to tell Mr. Cullen anything as we exit. I'm not sure what I'd tell him anyway.

"Why won't you call the police?" He demands once we're out the door.

"Because he wasn't molesting me," I say, not sure what else to do. Could I actually explain the situation so that Jake wouldn't tell anyone?

"Of course he was, I saw him," Jake replies, seething.

I shake my head, staring him in the eyes. "He wasn't doing anything I wasn't ok with."

I wait for the ten seconds it takes for Jake to understand. Then all of a sudden he jerks away from me. Although, I just move with him because of my hold on his sleeve. "You can't tell anyone," I repeat.

"But, you were afraid. I saw the look on your face . . . ," He argues feebly, not really believing himself at that point.

I nod. "I was. I thought he was going to hit me for a second because I made him mad, but he just kissed me instead."

"Why was he mad?" I can tell he doesn't really want to ask, but he can't help himself.

I look down at the ground guiltily. "Because I kissed you," I reply.

Jake seems to come back to life. "If you're doing the teacher, why are you kissing me?"

"I'm not doing the teacher," I snap. Of course I'm not. That is sort of the answer by itself. I'm _not _doing the teacher, that's why I'm kissing you.

"Fine, if you're making out with Cullen, why are kissing me then?"

I hesitate and decide to spare his feelings. I'm sure he's already traumatized enough about the making out thing. "I kissed you because I tried to break things off with him and I wanted a distraction. You seemed like the perfect person and I wanted to sort of show him that I was done with him. The problem with that is I didn't actually want to end my relationship with him. I know it's morally wrong, but I'm in love with him." That was close enough to the truth that I wouldn't slip up, but that it wouldn't hurt his feelings too much.

Jake leans against the red brick our school, taking it in. He sighs. "I guess I should have known someone like you would never actually call me."

I gawk at him. "That's it?"

"I believe that love trumps the law about a hundred fold. If you guys are all in love and happy and stuff, your secret is safe with me."

I would have planted kisses all over his face if I wasn't already in love with someone. "You are the most incredibly, unbelievably, cool guy I have ever met," I say, settling for a tight hug as opposed to the kisses.

"I have just a few rules," Jake says, his voice calm as a cucumber.

I immediately step away from him. This can't be good. "Oh, jeez. What?"

He smiles at my obvious apprehensiveness. "Don't do that at school anymore because you'll get caught by someone who doesn't share my point of view; still come to the movie with me tonight just as friends; and what's the actual reason you kissed me?"

Damn, how does he know I was lying? I _never _get caught. Ever. "I don't really want to tell you. I already know I'm a manipulative bitch and I don't want to have to analyze it again."

Jake shrugs. "I'll like you anyway," He promises, looking completely confident.

"Well, if you want to cancel the movie date, just let me know," I sigh, twisting my hair around my fingers nervously. "I . . . I was using you to make him jealous. Edward won't . . . um, give me something I want." I blush profusely.

"And that something is?"

I let out a long-winded sigh and suck in a really large breath which turns out to be a bad idea because the green dumpsters are really offensive smelling. I wait a really long time, staring at the asphalt. "He won't have sex with me," I finally blurt out.

Jake nods like he expected as much. "Fair enough. And I don't think you're a manipulative bitch. I think you're just . . . _determined." _

I smile. "Thanks."

"All right, I'll see you at seven then," Jake says, walking to the main parking lot without a backward glance. I wonder what goes on in that boy's mind.

With nothing else to do, I head back inside and enter Mr. Cullen's room. He's pacing in front of his desk anxiously. "Did you find who it was?" He demands the second he sees me.

I nod, "Yup. And it just so happens to be the guy I'm dating."

Mr. Cullen flashes me the death glare, but his curiosity seems to outdo the anger. "What did he say?"

"Well, first he thought you were a molester, but I told him you weren't. I told him about us and he's agreed not to tell anyone."

"And that's it? Just like that?"

"Just like that," I repeat with a mischievous grin, snapping my fingers.

"So you're still going on a date with him even though he knows you're using him?" I don't miss the way his eyes flash.

"Well, unless you persuade me otherwise," I say sweetly, suggestively running my hand up my side and grazing my breast. "I'm afraid I'm going to the movies with him. We'll get a bucket of popcorn to share and we'll get a seat in the very back. Maybe I'll 'accidentally' let my hand touch his . . ." I trail off at the look he's giving me.

Mr. Cullen takes a deadly step towards me like he's hunting prey, but I don't flinch or look away. A satisfied smirk is on my face.

"Bella, if you so much as touch him, I'll lose my sanity."

"If you give in then we'll both be perfectly sane and we'll both be happy."

"Is that how you see it?" He asks gently, losing his threatening demeanor. "We'll only be happy for a little while. Having sex right now will just cause even more problems."

"Not if we're careful about it," I suggest, thinking that he's referring to the school rules.

He shakes his head. "And what about Tanya?"

Tanya Denali is his fiancé's name. I've seen their engagement announcement and picture in the newspaper. "You've already made it clear that you don't mind having a physical relationship with me or any relationship at all in fact. So what about her?" I spit.

He sighs as if he's a thousand years old, but doesn't answer.

Maybe its female intuition, but I know something's wrong, something about the relationship with Carrie. "Y-you're . . . you're not leaving her, are you?" I ask shakily.

Tears cloud my vision as he slowly nods assent.

And then I can't support my own weight. I back into the wall and slide down, not caring that he's getting a more than obvious view of my underwear. I draw my knees into my chest until my chin touches them. "Then what the _fuck _are you doing with me?" I hiss, tears pouring down my face. I hated losing control like this, but what the hell was this beautiful man doing to me?

"Bella, I don't know what to do," He whispers, kneeling next to me. "Even once this whole mess is over, we can't go out in public. We can't get together if you're my student. Do you have any idea how hard it would be to find a job? Tanya . . . Tanya is my safeguard. She's a perfectly acceptable person to be married to and quite frankly, I have to take that security."

I stop crying as he explains his reasoning and reduce myself to just sniffling. "You know what? I stand by my first opinion of you. You're a bastard," I say, pulling myself up to a standing position. "You've been toying with my emotions when you don't even have anything to show for it."

The expression on his face is hurt, but I can't find it within myself to care. What was all the kissing and touching for if he wasn't going to take any action? "I wasn't toying with them, Bella. I feel the same way about you, but we can't have a normal life together."

"Screw normal! No one gives a fuck about normal when you can have a _happy _life!" I yell at him, feeling the veins in my forehead pulse. Why is my world crashing down around me? I jerk the door open and attempt to leave. This day is turning out to be so crappy.

"Bella, I –," Mr. Cullen begins.

"Save it, Edward. I have to go now. I have a date with someone who actually cares about me."

"That prick only wants to get into your pants," He hisses.

"At least that makes one person," I quip, turning my back on the first person I fell in love with.

I'm literally a wreck, but I'm going to that theater tonight. Maybe Jake will know what to do to make me feel better. I march out of the school and straight to my car. I can feel myself cracking under the surface, but god damn it if I didn't put on my poker face. I'd go through hell and back for Mr. Cullen even in this current state, and right now, it's apparently the hell part of that phrase.

The local movie theater is kind of a stingy place that's pretty much run by a bunch of teenagers. There's always popcorn on the ground and the floor is sticky from all the spilled soda. It reeks of butter and sickly sweet pop.

I put on an unprecedented amount of makeup to cover the red, puffy eyes I have. I'm wearing a shirt that doubles as a _really _short dress, with jeans. I have to search for Jake until I see him playing a video game in the corner. I laugh at his childish behavior and creep up behind him.

"Take that, you zombie," He mutters as he shoots off one of the undead.

I grab the other plastic gun from its slot and click in, killing a zombie in the process and scaring the shit out Jake.

"Holy crap!" He exclaims.

"Get that zombie!" I say in response, pointing at a figure that was getting closer on the screen. He quickly shoots it down. Of course, almost thirty seconds after I start playing, the game ends. I sigh.

Jake looks over at me. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I stare up at him, realizing for the first time that he's really tall. I have no idea how I missed that. "Is it really that obvious?"

He nods. "You look like someone ran over your dog or something."

I dive into Jake's arms before I know what I'm doing. I bury my face against his chest so no can see me crying.

"Whoa," Jake says in surprise as he pats my back.

I sob against his chest and barely manage to get out, "Can we skip the movie?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Let me take you to my car and we can talk. Ok?"

I nod and suck in a deep breath. Jake smells . . . well, he smells like a boy. I'm not sure how else to put it. Maybe nature. Like the forest.

Jake guides me to the parking lot because my head is still nestled into his shirt. I stumble into his car and try to calm my tears. Hadn't I promised myself I wouldn't break into hysterics?

"So what's this about?"

"Edward . . . he won't leave his fiancé even though he says he feels the same way about me. I'm just so stuck right now. He's saying that we can't have a normal life together so we shouldn't even try," I sob. Turning to look Jake in the eye, I ask, "Don't you think having a happy life trumps having a normal life?"

Jake nods solemnly and wraps his arm around my shoulder consolingly. "He's a bastard."

I let out a mirthless laugh. "That's exactly what I told him." I pause, "I called him an ass as well, but that was yesterday."

"Bella, can I ask you something?"

I nod.

"Why'd you go after him even though you knew it probably wasn't going to work? He's a teacher."

"Because I'm in love with him. Everything I've done to be this girl that I've become has been for him. These clothes," I pulled at the material of my shirt, "these are for him. This public aura of a complete slut is for him. I thought that maybe if he had to tell enough people off for sexually harassing me, he'd realize he wanted me, too." I know I'm giving out too much information, but I can't stop. "I'm not actually a slut though. I've only kissed one guy and that was Edward. I haven't even gone on a date ever."

"I've never thought you were a slut," Jake suddenly adds quietly.

I smile weakly. "Thanks, but everyone else does. Which leaves me with the problem of what to do. This whole thing has been for Edward and since he doesn't seem to want it, now everyone has this image of me that isn't true. I just wish I could go back to the beginning of the year and start over. I want to go back to when I was invisible."

Jake looks like he's about to say something, but holds it back. "Well, now what you do is move on. Forget him."

My mouth pops open in shock. "Forget?" I ask slightly hysterically. "Not so easy when I have class with him every day."

"I just mean that the harder you hold on, the harder it'll be," He shrugs, rubbing my back.

I shake my head in disagreement, because it isn't like I'm just going to be able to let go of Mr. Cullen so easily. It isn't going to happen.

"Do you want an ice cream cone?" Jake asks suddenly, pointing to the malt shop across the parking lot from the theater.

"Yeah," I give a watery smile. "That'd be great."

After sitting down in a booth with a chocolate ice cream cone, Jake slides in next to me.

"I think Edward is like a drug or something and I'm the addict. Will you help me quit?" I ask Jake after a few minutes of devouring my icy goodness.

He nods but asks, "And how am I supposed to help you with that?"

"Just be a friend. Help me cut my losses, or whatever. I just want someone to actually care about my feelings and not shove them aside for their own needs like Ed – I mean, Mr. Cullen did." If I was going to quit Mr. Cullen, then I'd start with his name.

He nods again. "No problem," He replies, reassuring me with a shoulder squeeze.

The weekend is over soon and I spent most of it with Jake. We hung out at the skateboard park and he showed me his 'moves'. At some point, I tried to skateboard and made Jake laugh so hard he said his stomach hurt. I smacked him on the shoulder and had a blast. He's shaping up to be the best friend I've ever had.

At school, before we enter the building, I tell Jake, "Will you just help me? Keep me away from him when it isn't necessary."

He nods, gripping my hand as if to say he's accepting the request.

I realize what we must look like, holding hands, when I see the livid expression on Mr. Cullen's perfect face. I duck my head and walk determinedly towards my locker, which is unfortunately directly in front of Mr. Cullen's classroom. I clutch Jake's hand harder. "He's glaring at me, isn't he?" I mutter out of the corner of my mouth.

Jake looks back at him and nods. With a pat on the back, he whispers, "Be strong, ok?" He begins to leave, but I grab his hand again. He turns back towards me.

"Thank you," I whisper. And, I realize that it's not the smartest thing I've ever done since Mr. Cullen is literally fifteen feet from us, but I lean in and kiss Jake. I haven't expressed romantic interest before, but I'd be lying if I said I don't feel it. Jake is handsome, just in a different way than Mr. Cullen.

The kiss isn't as show-offish as our first one, but it's genuine. It's sweet and I actually mean it, which makes it a thousand times better. Jake smiles down at me. He shoots me another grin over his shoulder and turns into his homeroom.

I sigh and glance back towards Mr. Cullen. His fists are balled up stiffly at his sides. He's staring holes through me. Turning away from him requires more willpower than it should, but I do. I stride into homeroom and focus like I haven't done in a long time. Anything but having to picture his piercing grean eyes again.

At lunch, I immediately grab a seat next to Jake and he greets me with a chaste kiss. I know my reasons are wrong and I'm jumping the gun, but I want back the mind-numbing passion I felt – I mean _feel _– with Mr. Cullen. So I grab the back of Jake's head and jerk his lips to mine, letting every trouble I feel melt onto his mouth. We get some whoops from the other people at the lunch table and some questions.

"You guys are going out?" A girl asks, whom I happen to know loves to spread gossip so loudly even the teachers hear it. I smile at the thought. Let him know I'm not going to play his game anymore.

I draw my face away from Jake's surprised one and answer. I give Jake a quick glance and nod. "Yeah, we are." I grab his hand under the table and lean into his ear. "Is that ok?" I whisper.

He nods with a happy smile. "As long as you're ok with it."

"I'm very ok with it. You make me feel so good."

"Bella," He breathes. "You said you wanted to go back to when you were invisible, but you weren't. I had a crush on you even then. I just thought you should know that I'm not like Cullen. I don't need someone to change their whole existence just to notice them."

My breath catches in my throat and I peck his cheek again. "Thank you, Jake." I can't think of what else to say, so I don't. Lunch goes by with more kissing and hand-holding. I feel strangely tingly and I'm so happy that I have someone to distract me from Mr. Cullen. Someone who's sweet and caring and handsome, someone who can see the invisible.

It's the passing period right before I have to enter 1201. Jake has wordlessly accompanied me even though I know for a fact his class is in the other direction. "Are you going to be ok?"

I nod. "Yeah, but he's going to want to talk to me after class again."

"How do you know?"

"Because he's watching us right now," I murmur, subtly pointing out his stiff posture. His eyes bore right in our direction.

"You probably shouldn't have kissed me in front of him."

I shake my head. "No, I wanted to. He needs to get it through his head that I'm not going to let myself get hurt by him anymore."

"All right, Bells. Just don't stay after too long."

"Will you wait for me by my locker? If you don't see me fifteen minutes after the bell rings, come and get me," I instruct carefully. Tanya may be Mr. Cullen's 'safeguard', but Jake is mine.

"All right," He agrees.

"And Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"If I end up doing something stupid like, god forbid, kissing him or something, please don't judge me. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I don't care about him, because I do, but I care about you, too. Just as a warning in case I slip up," I caution softly.

"Promise," He winks.

I grab his waist and pull him into a hug. "You are the sweetest person I've ever met," I tell him honestly.

"Ditto," He jokes.

I smile and stretch on my toes to give him a kiss. I end up practically shoving my tongue down his throat. My lower half is getting warmer and my toes don't seem to be able to keep still. I sigh gently when he pulls away.

"I'm going to be late, Bells. Bye," He gives me a peck on the lips before stepping away.

I'm almost afraid to see what Mr. Cullen thinks of this exchange, so I keep a steady gaze on the ground. Of course, I'm unable to do this for long out of habit. I stare at him and take in his appearance, his mood. I gulp. He didn't shave this morning.

But . . . he didn't have sex with her.

His clothes are clean and ironed. And his mood is most definitely in the toilet. Of course, I could have caused that. I have a feeling he didn't shave intentionally, to . . . to make me jealous. I snort out loud at this realization. There's a gut feeling that I'm right.

"Is there something funny, Ms. Swan?" Mr. Cullen asks angrily, breaking off on his sentence to glare at me. Yeah, his mood is definitely off today. Not to mention that he calls me "Ms. Swan". He's never done that before.

"No, sir," I say seriously, staring straight back. Because, really, there isn't anything funny. I'm in a very non-funny situation.

"I'd like to talk to you after class," He replies, to the 'ooh' of the class. It's a well known fact that Bella Swan doesn't get in trouble . . . ever. Especially after she already got in trouble a little while ago. That doesn't happen.

I nod and continue to stare at him. He doesn't meet my gaze again after that. I sigh, hoping that Jake won't have to come and save the day again.

After class, I remain sitting, though I pack up all of my papers. I wait until the door is closed and all the students are gone. I see Jake standing at my locker. He gives me an understanding nod and I mouth, _I'm ok. _

Mr. Cullen sees this and he looks out his door suspiciously. He stiffens at the sight of Jake there, but I'm glad. Maybe he won't do anything stupid now. Maybe _I _won't do anything stupid now.

"What is he your bodyguard now?" He asks meanly.

I nod. "Yes, as a matter of fact. Now, since both you and I know that you sure as hell didn't tell me to stay after class because I laughed, what do you have to say to me?"

"I _wanted_ to tell you I'm sorry that I mislead you, but now I'd rather go out there and kill your bodyguard."

"My boyfriend actually," I whisper.

"What are you doing, Bella? You pretty much told me we're done and you're still trying to make me jealous?"

I shake my head emphatically. "This isn't a show, Edward. I'm going out with him because I'm through with you. And besides, I'm not the one trying to make people jealous." I reach out to run my hand across his unshaven skin and he traps it there.

"Ah, but that's not a show either. I didn't have time to shave this morning because I got up late. And I got up late because Tanya and I were busy," He taunts childishly.

I flinch at the words, but pull my hand away. "Yeah, you're not trying to make me jealous at all. You're such a hypocrite. You don't want to mislead me, but you're rubbing in the fact that you finally put your beloved fiancé out of her misery."

"Does that mean it's getting to you?"

"Edward, I'd just like this to stop. I'm in love with you, and therefore, susceptible to hurt. And you're dishing out hurt like its ice cream. You've already made it clear that we don't go together. So let's not go together anymore."

He heaves a great sigh. "I just can't let you go, but I can't keep you, either." He pulls me into a hug and I don't resist.

"Edward, get married to Tanya. Have beautiful children. Become principal of a school somewhere. Have a good life. Just let me go first." I literally feel sick at the words. The thought of him getting married and having children that I'll have nothing to do with. I sigh. It's for the best, right?

There's the longest pause I've ever encountered, before he says it. "All right, Bella," He whispers and kisses my hair. He kisses my cheek, my nose, my chin, my eyelids, and finally my lips. It's slow and deep and concentrated.

I admit I'm kissing him back. I know that Jake is probably having a heart attack outside right now, but this is goodbye. I respond to him like I always have. My body curls around his and my hands are wrapped around his neck. We part our lips slowly before we get carried away. "I love you, Edward." I say as a parting.

"I love you, too and I want you to come to my wedding, alright?" He asks, touching his forehead to mine.

"Alright," I agree, thinking that's the worst idea I've ever heard. "Tell Tanya hi for me," I joke.

"Yeah, that's likely," He laughs.

I laugh as well and close the door of 1201 behind me for the last time. Well, figuratively anyway. I still had class for like four months, but whatever. It's figurative.

"Oh, god. Please don't tell me –," Jake begins, the most adorable look of worry on his face.

"That he and I are back together again?" I ask shyly, playing with him.

"Oh god," He moans, kicking the lockers with his foot.

I wrap my arms around his waist from behind and turn him around. "We didn't. That was a goodbye kiss," I whisper, burying my face in his boy/nature/forest scent.

"Oh, thank god." He smacks my butt, drawing an 'Ow!' from me. "You're cruel, Nat."

"Yeah," I smile, massaging my ass. "I am."

Jake smiles back and kisses my forehead.

"How about that movie now?" I ask.

He nods. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you ,too, Jake," I answer without hesitation. We walk down the hallway together, hand in hand. I give room 1201 one last glance, thinking about how much it meant for these past five and half months.

But when I look back, all I see is a science lab.

Six Months Later . . .

"Jake, this dress is way too short for the wedding," I complain as I get into his car.

"Don't worry, I'll punch Cullen's teeth in if he comes anywhere near you," Jake jokes. It still surprises me how at ease he is with this situation. I'm not going to lie. Six months after I'd ended the brief affair and I still was a little apprehensive.

"That's not what I meant," I sigh.

"Bells, it looks fine. I have to say, I won't mind being the one with the hottest date there."

I smack his shoulder, blushing. "Well, let's get going. I don't want to be late to hell."

"The wedding won't be hell. There'll be cake!" Jake assures me, joking.

"We'll see," I say ominously.

On the car ride there – two hours long by the way – I just think back about the last few months. Mr. Cullen and I had been uneasy with each other at first. I had to resist the urge to study him so much and not to flash him every time I sat down, well ingrained habits, let me assure you. We barely talked to each other and made eye contact.

Then, one day he smiled at me. It was friendly and it was like the Olive Branch. So then, everyday, we'd smile. We still don't speak much, but there's always a friendly, knowing, reminiscing smile to pass between us.

Jake and I became more tight-knit over the months and now we say 'I love you' to each other at least five times a day. I truly do love him, more than I ever loved Mr. Cullen. That's because we both know each other. I'm not the obsessive one. It's equal. We balance each other out. We're both enrolled to the same college as well, thank goodness.

All too soon, we arrive. I'm having a mini panic attack and my lungs feel like they're on fire.

"Bells, breathe," Jake instructs, taking hold of my trembling hand.

And that hand allows me to inhale and exhale without trouble. Jake is my safe harbor. "Sorry, I'm just a little bit nervous. I haven't seen him since school got out."

"Relax, I'm here for you."

I nod and we step out, walking into the ancient, beautiful church. Everything is ornate and colorful. The stained glass windows are breathtaking, throwing different colored light over the attendees. And this place is packed. I'm guessing that Tanya couldn't be reigned in, because there are people filling every single pew up. And there's room for hundreds of people.

Jake and I are on the brink of being late, so Mr. Cullen is already standing on the altar in a crisp tux. Even though he's a considerably far distance away from us, I can tell his hair is shorter and he's clean-shaven. I want to laugh. He probably hasn't been getting any because Tanya would have been too busy with this. And I have to admit, when I get married, this is how I want it to look. Maybe not so many people, but I'll probably want to have this church.

"How are you doing?" Jake asks, gripping my hand tightly.

I breathe in deeply, watching the little flower girl who can't be more than five totter up the aisle, throwing large chunks of petals at random intervals. "I think I'm ok. I feel . . . sad, but sort of confident. Like I know that he's doing the right thing."

Jake nods, never judging. I swear, I could give him the full break down of every single feeling I had ever held for Mr. Cullen and he wouldn't even be fazed.

"You're amazing," I whisper. A dozen bridesmaids walked up the path.

"Why?" He asks back, genuinely confused.

I shake my head at him. "Later," I whisper as the music starts playing "Here Comes the Bride".

Tanya enters from the back of the church and for a moment I wonder how Mr. Cullen had ever gone for me. She's really beautiful. She's wearing a smile so bright it looks like she stole a set of Christmas tree lights and is using them as teeth. Her hair is borderline red, but she can still be considered a strawberry-blonde. She looks beautiful in her dress, on the arm of her father. Her hair is artfully twisted into an up-do and the veil is covering her flawlessly made up face. The dress itself isn't my style anymore, but Tanya seems to have been made for it. It's too low in the cleavage area for me.

That's right, I've changed. I no longer wear the attention-getting clothes I used to don. Even this dress that comes just a little above my knees makes me uncomfortable. I haven't sported a miniskirt since Mr. Cullen and I officially broke up.

Mr. Cullen smiles at Tanya as she walks up the aisle. Her father releases her to Mr. Cullen and it begins. The minister has a slow, bass voice and gestures with his hands a lot.

I blush bright red when the minister asks people to raise objections or forever hold their peace. I wouldn't have even thought about it, but Jake clutches my hand suddenly tighter. I look over at him and roll my eyes, embarrassed that he would even think I'd do that.

And pretty soon, they're saying their vows and I do's.

"Tanya Denali, do you take Edward Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do you part?"

"I do," She says calmly, her voice still leaking joy.

"Edward Cullen, do you take Tanya Denali to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do you part?"

There's the slightest pause in which I freeze in my seat. Mr. Cullen's eyes flash directly to mine for just a second. "I do," He says.

It stuns me for a moment that he is married and officially not mine, but the reassuring hand I clutch makes me remember that I'm happy about it.

They kiss and the wedding is over. Guests start filing out to leave for the reception party. I don't move from my seat. I'm still trying to comprehend. Almost everyone is gone by the time I come back to life again.

"I think I want to talk to him," I whisper.

Jake nods. "Just remember that I'm here. I love you," He bids.

"I love you, too," I say, getting up from my seat and meandering up the aisle. I almost cry from feeling the petals under my shoes. This could have been me. I could have been the one to say I do and walk down this aisle in a white dress.

Mr. Cullen is in a little room that I would have to say reminds me of a dressing room. He's sitting in a chair all alone when I enter. His eyes fly open at the sight of me.

"Hey," I say softly, sitting on the arm of his chair.

He moves to put an arm around my waist, but stops himself. "I'm glad you came," He says.

"I don't know why I'm here," I mutter. "I think I just wanted to say goodbye again. I know everything was over months ago, but we still had to see each other. I want this to be the real goodbye. You know?"

He nods and stands. "You know, I almost didn't say I do when I saw you there."

My breath catches in my throat. I want closure, not another chunk of my heart torn out. "Please don't," I whisper.

"If we're saying goodbye, I want you to know everything."

I swallow and nod, closing my eyes and hoping for strength.

"I've missed you this entire time. I really love you, I hope you know that. But I love Tanya also. And that's why I'm married."

I open my eyes, tears blurring my vision. "I love you, too, Edward. And I've missed you as well. But I love Jake, too. So I think we're both set then." I turn to leave, not really sure what I accomplished.

"Goodbye kiss?" He murmurs behind me.

I whirl around. Could it really hurt? Yes, yes it could. But I walk towards him anyway.

He places his hands at my neck and waist in a familiar way. And then we're kissing. It's soft and solemn. A goodbye.

I begin to untangle my limbs from his, but he suddenly grabs me tighter, forcing his mouth on mine and exploring my thighs with another hand.

God, this was all too familiar. I struggle against him, my thoughts consumed of Jake. Jake who is waiting just outside. I manage to detach my mouth from his and gasp out, "You're married!"

"I was engaged and that didn't stop you," He whispers. "I've missed you so much. I need you right now."

"Stop, I don't love you like that anymore! This isn't right!" I exclaim, gasping as his middle finger found its way inside.

"So Jake hasn't taken this from you yet," He whispers quietly, feeling the resistance.

I groan as he starts thrusting his finger in and out of me. "Let me go," I hiss. And I'm so angry because I know it's not going to be long before I give in. Because even if I don't feel the same way about him, my body has the same physical reaction. Tears are running down my face. I'm so close to betraying Jake and moaning.

The door suddenly slams open and Jake rips Mr. Cullen off of me, delivering a punch to his face. "Get off of her, you bastard."

I'm frozen in fear, clutching the wall. Mr. Cullen falls to the floor and doesn't move. Jake turns back to me, his seething expression disappearing into one of concern. He gently replaces my panties, sliding them back up, and flips my dress down again. "Are you ok?" He brushes his thumb across my cheek.

I nod, lying. "He needs an icepack," I whisper shakily.

Jake stares at me. "He just tried to rape you and the only thing you can say is that he needs an icepack?"

I nod again, looking around. As luck would have it, there's a cooler in the room. I grab the cloth off a table and place ice cubes in it. I roll Mr. Cullen onto his back and press it to his face. He groans and his eyes open.

"You're an idiot," I admonish him, kneeling over his bruised face. It's already swelling.

"I'm sorry. I _am _an idiot."

I nod. "You're going to have a bruise," I mutter.

"Why are you still here?" He asks abruptly.

"Because I was afraid you had a concussion or something. And besides, I thought you might like a chance to say goodbye to me without trying to molest me."

He nods. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing."

"Yes, you did," I counter, handing him my makeshift icepack. "Goodbye, Edward."

"Bye, Bella."

I stand up, straightening the wrinkles out of my dress. "Oh, and Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Tell Tanya the truth about that bruise. Tell her everything now because if you don't, she'll probably find out sometime. You can't base a marriage on lies." I don't wait to see if he'll agree to it and leave the room. Jake has already left. When I find him, he's praying in the sanctuary.

I sit next to him wordlessly, resting my head on his shoulder. He doesn't acknowledge my presence. After a few minutes, he looks over at me and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"It's ok. I know you love him still. You just wanted to take care of him."

I sigh and take in his boy/nature/forest smell. "I don't anymore. Not really. I might have when I came here, but he ruined it. He made me realize that you can observe a person all you want and think you know them by heart, but you don't. I never really knew him."

We don't speak for a while.

"Can we scrap the reception ceremony?" I ask quietly. I can't handle seeing him again.

Jake nods. "Let's go get something to eat."

We get up and open the door to the church just as Mr. Cullen leaves his dressing room. I wave goodbye to him and he does the same. Jake and I walk out the door together.

And just like that, my connection with Mr. Cullen ends. We have the memory of it of course, but not the feelings anymore.

"How do you feel about some ice cream?"

Of course, the remedy we used last time I'd had my issues with Mr. Cullen. "Of course," I chuckle. We leave hand in hand, laughing. "Let's get married in that church someday," I say.

"Married?"

"Yeah," I say with a smile.

Jake scoops me up into a hug and carries me around like he'd carry a bride across the threshold. "I love you, Bells."

"I love you, too, Jake."

And off we went.

****  
**The End**

**That's THE END of this story and I'm not going to be writing anymore on it. Sorry, it's Over. Done. Kaput. Finished. :D Please review though. I love your wonderful comments so much.**

**Much love,**

**MsSailorman**


	2. Chapter 2

**People, I know I said that this story had ended, but I seriously had to post this.**

**Ok, in a lot of the feedback I've been getting, people have been saying that I should mark this as a Bella/Jacob story. Yes, I know I should, but a ton of you people keep on saying that you would never have read it if you'd known it was a Bella/Jacob fic!!!! That's the only reason it's marked as Bella and Edward. Otherwise you people wouldn't read it! So just let it go, ok?**

**And I have to say, I crack up every single time I read those comments about Bella being slutty and fickle. It's all part of the character I created. She's quick to commit, but will change her mind just as easily all the while meticulously plotting every detail. So yes, she displays the public image of being easy, but on the inside, she's not. HELLO! She was with Jake for like six months and she was still a virgin! Slut? I THINK NOT!**

**So anyway, that's my two cents. I just had to say that because I figured you guys had the right to know what I as the author was thinking. And if you didn't like this story, I beg of you not to shy away from reading my other ones. This Bella is a planner while my other Bella characters are usually extremely impulsive. So read up and let me know what you think.**

**Much love,**

**MsSailorman**


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